- Anti Joke

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

I'm winning at Scrabble.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

What do you call a horny horse? A unicorn.

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

Asian women drivers...