A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Roses are red. Violets are beer. Kay eckelkamp is in charge here.

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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