Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse stares eats an apple and trots out... Horses can't speak therefore do not understand the question and cannot reply

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You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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knock knock come in

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops