Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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why did the man hop everywhere? He only had one leg

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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gay pom...

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What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

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What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I have cancer.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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