Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +16

It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you wake up a black man? You stab him in the thigh.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops