An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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child labor

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Blacks

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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