What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unbeknownst to the farmer, the pen holding the chickens inside the farm had fallen due to bad weather. The chicken unknowingly wandered onto the road nearby. Thankfully it was rescued some minutes later.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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ASIAN- Look me in the eyes Normal human being- open them

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops