Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? It depends on their painting skills.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

pull my finger (farts)

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

tim tebow and mark sanchez will lead the jets to the superbowl

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...