Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops