Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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