What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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9

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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