What did a pornstar say when she heard hard banging from the front door? Come inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is a four year olds bedroom the hottest place in Texas? Its on fire, like the rest of the state because of a tragic wildfire thats ruining the lives of many people.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Matthew Wyckoff

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops