A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops