A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops