The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, 'I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.' so I'm saving him!"

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

What's white and black? Color blind.

Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

24

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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