Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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a black man pays his child support

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? You're mom. It's your.

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Indians

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

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Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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