John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -8

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Mexican parents name their first born son? Nobody knows. He was adopted by a nice family due to the fact that his biological parents were murdered in cold blood. His foster parents named him Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -8

News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

thumb_up thumb_down -8

You know what's funny about Fox news? Nothing. Lying to the public isn't funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So these two girls have a cup .

thumb_up thumb_down -8

mexicans fishing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops