how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Die.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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osama bin ladin is dead. let's get a beer.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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