How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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