Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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WNBA

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Yo mamas so fat,you know wht, i think she might die !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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