Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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MOTHER OF GOD! Someone get this horse out of here!

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Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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your mom's stupid face is a dumb butthead. I hate you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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penis?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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