One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Have you heartd about the blond that confused winow putty for KY jelly? Her windows fell out.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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