What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

What do you call two black men screaming as loud as they can? Scared

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

why did the girl fall off the swing ? because she had no arms.

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

Come on children, don't dawdle.

why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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