What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Asian women drivers...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the world end? Because of Jim Layhey's whispering winds of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How come grilled cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops