When life gives you melons, your probably dyslexic.

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Knock, Knock! Who`s there? Your mama`s stupid! Your mama`s stupid who? Your mama`s stupid as a rock! I` m going to cut your eyes out and use them as baseballs!

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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