A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

Once Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a guy so hard that he got a large bruise.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

my name is piare (peeair) because my balder is empty

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...