What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What is worse than finding a dead bug in your coffee? September 11, 2001

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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your so fat. your fat!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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