How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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autsim

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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How high is the sky? True or False

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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