What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between men and women? I really can't tell anymore, there's so many goddamn transvestites.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black guy and a white guy are walking down the sidewalk. As it suddenly begins to rain, what does the white guy say to the black guy? Nothing. They did not know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops