Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Where did the drunk Mother drive? Back to the Bar because she forgot her Baby.. Except she left it left it on the roof of the car...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

nicky finds it really hard to get it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock........wait there cars gone, I'll come back later

thumb_up thumb_down -3

*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

thumb_up thumb_down -3

727-8088-954 Call Me. Say your name is Nick whether or not your a guy or a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you die laughting, How are you telling this to me?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

ask me if im a door yes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops