What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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A Canadian walks into a bar, he rubs his head, steps around the bar, and walks into a bar. He has a great time hanging out with his friends and having a few drinks

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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why was the pen mad at the pencil? it wasnt. objects don't have feelings

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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