Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A:He was shot in the face

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

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Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

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Why did the man eat his wife? He was a cannibal

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whats white and sticky glue

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

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A man walks into a vagina

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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