Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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well now

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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