- Anti Joke

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a blind-deaf-mute.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

a man walks into the bar and gets knocked out

Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

What's brown and sticky? Shit.