Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

why are black people so fast? because there black

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

What's the color of the sky when an airplane takes off? Blue. What are you, stupid?

why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

Obama

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

yo mamma so black, she was left out in subzero temperatures for an extended time period and suffered major frostbite all over her body, causing it to become grotesquely black.

A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...