How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

800 people died last year. end of story

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...