Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?", the horse incapable of understanding the English language promptly shits on the floor and eats a bar stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

thumb_up thumb_down +20

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops