Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What do you call a Jew A Jew

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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