what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Hey

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Whats better than 7 babies tied to 1 tree 1 baby tied to 7 trees

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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