Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realizing the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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george goodburn is secretly mexican

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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