What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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A Holocaust joke? I did Nazi that coming...Anne, Frankly, I'm quite offended.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops