Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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if got a joke if fogot it

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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WILLY

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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