Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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