if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

Knock knock Go fuck yourself

What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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