Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

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Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops