How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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