Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? A nasty tasting smoothie.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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