Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Raveena Thandhan

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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