Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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