a older brother and a lil brother have bunk beds, one night the older brother has his gf sneak over, they are going to have sex. he tells his gf, "say lettace for a new positon and say tomato for stop", they start and she screams, "lettace, tomato, lettace, tomato". then the lil brother says " will you guys stop making salad, ur getting mayonase all over my face!!!!"

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding Osama Bin Ladan in your refrigerator.

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Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing?? ShE had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there? Not Susie

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What is funnier than 24 69

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Whats black and yellow and makes you laugh? A bus full of niggers driving of a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops