A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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here is a good joke... your moms a bitch END OF STORY!

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops