Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Q.what happens if a fat man see's a black man? A. the fat man eats the black man thinking that he was chocolate

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Asian women drivers...

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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top kek

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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