roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

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Q: What did the skeleton order when he walked into a bar? A: A beer and a mop.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. Oh, OK I'll be there in a sec. *opens door* Did you bring the blender and the baking tray? Oh no I forgot I'll run back and get them.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops