How will the world end? That information is unknown

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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How did the man die? A gorilla raped him

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Joe: CHOP CHOP KICK PUNCH HI-YAH! Mike:What are you doing? JOE: PRACTICING CHPO MENTAL KICK KARATE!!!!!!!

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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